Feather Elfwand
A couple of tips on choosing your wedding party. Size does matter – the traditional rule is one attendant for every 50 guests but you don’t’ have to stick to this if it doesn’t fit in your wedding plans.
More isn’t always merrier – the more people in your wedding party, the greater the chance for complications or personality conflicts. Blood is thicker than water – it’s usually worth including family members to avoid unnecessary conflict.
No “paybacks” – just because they asked you to be in their wedding party, doesn’t mean you have to ask them. It’s your wedding, choose who you want. Location is key – know what you are expecting of your party and where they will be. Will they be able to help out with everything you want?
Guys and Girls count – a bridesmaid doesn’t have to be a women, and groomsman a man. If your best friend is of the opposite sex, there is no reason they can’t be a part of the wedding party. A guy on the bride’s side is called an attendant or brides man, and a woman on the groom’s side is called an attendant or groomswoman. It’s that simple.
Other honours – if you are stuck, there are a lot of other jobs your close family and friends can help out with. A special reading or prayer, ushers, the MC or performing at your wedding.
Spread the news – once you have your wedding party picked, make sure everyone knows it. You don’t want the old friend from high school thinking they are in the wedding party when they aren’t.
The kids – your flowergirl and ringbearer are going to be an attraction at your wedding. Children should be able to walk down the aisle by themselves and close to you. A niece or nephew, or young cousins are good for these roles. If they are over the age of 10 and you really want to include them, make them a junior bridesmaid or groomsman or they can be a candle holder/lighter.
Feather Elfwand
Always remember that your parents love you and have loved you from the first day. When your anxieties run high, they are an invaluable support system. They’ve spent so much energy over the years doing their best to raise you and now it’s time to plan one of the most important days in yours and their lives.
Lots of times, weddings are one of the only times families get together in a large group to celebrate. Remember your parents want to show you and your fiancé off to their siblings, families and friends. Also, if you come from a blended family with step-parents or siblings, remember they care about you and love you as well. Don’t forget about them.
It’s a nice touch to have the parents coordinate their outfits with the wedding party. You don’t want them to clash with the colour scheme! They can choose to purchase a dress in the same shade as the wedding party, or highlight the wedding colour in their accessories and corsage. Don’t forget to get boutonnières for the fathers as well.
Here are some basic rules mothers of the bride and groom should keep in mind when purchasing the attire you will be wearing to the wedding.
Rule One: never outshine the bride or groom. This is fairly simple and easy to adhere to.
Rule Two: don’t look like you are trying to outshine the bride. Once you go to clingy, ruffled or revealing you look like you are trying to steal the show from the happy couple.
Rule Three: only the bride may wear white and the parents shall not wear black. The exception to this rule is the fathers, as they can easily do a fantastic black tuxedo or suit, just as long as they don’t look better than the wedding party! Even thought this particular rule is being broken more often by guests, it is very inappropriate for mothers to do so. Wearing black to the wedding suggests you are not happy with this marriage taking place.
Rule Four: it is the happy couple’s day; keep your attire from causing whispers that would detract from them.
Rule Five: don’t wear anything too casual unless the wedding is a casual one.
Seems like a lot of restrictions, doesn’t it? Really, these days so many shops have come out with fantastic outfits for the parents that the selection is almost mind-boggling. No more do mothers have to wear the chiffon-covered pastel dress! A tailored two-piece suit with a mid-knee pencil skirt is almost universally flattering and feminine. If a pencil skirt doesn’t work with your body type, you can go for an A-line. If the wedding is a more formal affair, go with a long skirt.
Take a day and go out shopping for your outfit with your child. Do lunch, try things on and ask for their opinion. It will give you some bonding time and alleviate some of the stress that comes along with planning the wedding day.
Columbine Goblinfilter
Keeping kids happy at a wedding isn’t always easy, but here are some tips to help you out. Dress them at the last possible minute. The less amount of time they spend in their “nice clothes” the happier they’ll be. Make sure they have access to games, videos, snacks and toys. The smaller the child, the larger the bib. Kids make a mess when they eat and if you want them to look nice for pictures, keep their clothes covered!
Feed smaller children a small meal before the event. It will tide them over until the main dinner is served. Bring some back-up shoes for the little ones to change into at the reception. They’ll have a lot more fun dancing around in a more comfortable pair of shoes. Make arrangements at a location near or at the reception where the kids can go to take a nap with baby-sitters.
What can the little ones do?
The children in you and your fiancé’s life are important to you and there are a lot of jobs they can help out with to be a part of your special day. Flower girls, ring bearers, junior bridesmaid or groomsmen are all a part of the wedding party. Kids also enjoy handing out programs, watching the gift table, taking charge of the guest book to make sure guests are signing it. Kids like to feel helpful and important so you could have them set up place cards or favours at the reception or do a special reading/prayer at your ceremony.
Columbine Goblinfilter
Ah, the bridesmaids and the maid/matron of honour. Your closest friends and family standing with you as you marry the person of your dreams. Now that designers are creating dresses that your girls can wear after the wedding, girls don’t have to worry about having a taffeta poufy dress with a huge bow on the butt haunt them every time they open their closet.
By looking for quality construction, beautiful fabrics and timeless design your bridesmaids can look great at your wedding and have a useful dress afterwards. This is an area for delicate negotiation. You want to find a gown that works for everyone. Your bridal party no longer has to wear all the same dress or all the same colour. Today’s brides are going with the same colour but a flattering cut for each girl, or vice versa. Some don’t even match that up.
Be considerate. Wedding tradition says the girls pay for their own outfits. It is an honour to be asked to be a party of your wedding day, set a budget and stick to it. You want your girls to look amazing without having to break the bank.
When choosing your wedding party, keep in mind these people will be a great support system for you during the planning stages. They will help stuff invitations, interview vendors, choose themes and colours and plan and throw a lot of the associated parties that go along with your wedding day.
Set up a time early on in the planning stages to have a brainstorming session with your girls. Have everyone bring something to nibble on, and set it up like an intimate party for just you and your girls. Once everyone has a better idea of what you are looking for, planning and execution of those plans will go a lot smoother.
Difficulties and disagreements are bond to arise. Lay down some ground rules with your wedding party so you can ease through any problems like this with less stress. This is your wedding day so the final call really comes down to you. Your wedding party should put aside their disagreements and keep the foremost in their minds.
Don’t forget – you can never say “thank you” too often. You are responsible for getting your wedding party thank-you gifts. These are usually presented at the rehearsal dinner with the parents’ gifts. You don’t have to get everyone the same thing, but try to spend the same amount of money on each person.
